18 to 80
08/07/2005
A notion that falls into the "things I never thought about before" category.
I had a conversation awhile back with a friend of mine who is in her mid to late eighties. She is a sweet lady whose husband died about 7 years ago.
When I met Fanny 8 years ago, she was taking care of her 102-year-old bed-bound mother. That by itself is an interesting thought to wrap ones head around. There were times she could not go out because she didn’t have anyone to keep an eye on her mother.
Ok – back to the conversation.
I was visiting with her one afternoon over tea when she mentioned one of the struggles she has with aging. She said "It feels so strange to be old because on the inside, I still feel the same as I did with I was 18…there are times I walk past the mirrors in my house and wonder who that old lady is." She went further to say, "Since my inside and my mind is still like an 18 year old, I get frustrated when my decaying body does not cooperate with me…I cry sometimes because I cannot do the things with my body that my mind still sees as a possibility…"
WOW! I never thought about that. I had always thought that everything gets older at the same time. I recall my great-grandmother who used to LOVE to look at men with "pretty legs". Since she was a senior citizen, we all laughed about this and said "oh how cute the old lady likes men’s legs…" She is famous for giving advise to the women in the family to "marry a man with pretty legs, that way, when you are mad at him, you will have something to look at."
The above is one of my favorite memories but after my conversation with Fanny, it takes on a different meaning. I realize now that the woman who spoke these words was not the wrinkled granny before me but rather, the young lady who still dwelled within her.
My great grandmother died 3 ½ years ago right before her 101st birthday. I wish I had this knowledge before she left this earth. She was always my grandmother – the way I related to her. But this information is so powerful. It would have been interesting to have a conversation with her – with her knowing it was ok to let the 18 year old living within her to come out to play.
Peace,
zss
© 2005 Wrosesongs
All Rights Reserved
A notion that falls into the "things I never thought about before" category.
I had a conversation awhile back with a friend of mine who is in her mid to late eighties. She is a sweet lady whose husband died about 7 years ago.
When I met Fanny 8 years ago, she was taking care of her 102-year-old bed-bound mother. That by itself is an interesting thought to wrap ones head around. There were times she could not go out because she didn’t have anyone to keep an eye on her mother.
Ok – back to the conversation.
I was visiting with her one afternoon over tea when she mentioned one of the struggles she has with aging. She said "It feels so strange to be old because on the inside, I still feel the same as I did with I was 18…there are times I walk past the mirrors in my house and wonder who that old lady is." She went further to say, "Since my inside and my mind is still like an 18 year old, I get frustrated when my decaying body does not cooperate with me…I cry sometimes because I cannot do the things with my body that my mind still sees as a possibility…"
WOW! I never thought about that. I had always thought that everything gets older at the same time. I recall my great-grandmother who used to LOVE to look at men with "pretty legs". Since she was a senior citizen, we all laughed about this and said "oh how cute the old lady likes men’s legs…" She is famous for giving advise to the women in the family to "marry a man with pretty legs, that way, when you are mad at him, you will have something to look at."
The above is one of my favorite memories but after my conversation with Fanny, it takes on a different meaning. I realize now that the woman who spoke these words was not the wrinkled granny before me but rather, the young lady who still dwelled within her.
My great grandmother died 3 ½ years ago right before her 101st birthday. I wish I had this knowledge before she left this earth. She was always my grandmother – the way I related to her. But this information is so powerful. It would have been interesting to have a conversation with her – with her knowing it was ok to let the 18 year old living within her to come out to play.
Peace,
zss
© 2005 Wrosesongs
All Rights Reserved
posted by I am Z @ 12:45 AM
4 Comments:
At 9:04 PM,
no more said…
I never knew this to be true until my late 20's. I slowly began to realize that I kept getting older, I was called "maa'm" by teenagers and yet I feel like i could be 18. 18 is the magical age because you're old enough to have experienced life and young enough to see wonder in it. Now that i'm starting my 30's I've come to see that the older I get the younger I'll stay in my mind, and it's sad. Because you sit there wishing you were younger, because inside you feel like that 18 year old. I still get carded for buying a rated R movie at walmart but I still know what my true age is and I wish i could stop time and stay the same age forever.
At 12:28 AM,
taliendo said…
great post, zayne.
I spent a lot of my younger life feeling as if I were older, so it's been really strange to me to reach maturity and feel my own age. Actually, it was hard to accept that I am as old as I am, but I've come aruond.
I guess, we'll have to see what the future brings.
At 11:07 PM,
vagabondmind said…
good post. i enjoyed reading a few of ur posts. keep writing and do comment on mine too
Cheers
Sanjay
At 10:41 PM,
katiedid said…
Lovely reflection on the subject, and your experience. I guess from seeing all the struggles my own great-grandmother went through as she aged, I grew up knowing that the body will inevitably disappoint.
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