It’s Officially Winter
Tonight, we are waiting for our first "real" blast of winter. By real, I mean other than the regular ass numbing cold and winds we guard ourselves against. In the south, this is a BIG event. It’s almost comparable to preparing for Y2k.
Southern summers bring big flies, 500% humidity, mosquitoes as large as 747s, and lots of outdoor activities. We have learned how to not sweat when the heat is turned up – that’s how we can tell who is visiting and who really has the earth’s dirt under her nails.
We can smile and fan and sing and dance all day long in the summer sun. Men have the super ability to stand for extraordinarily long periods of time on the steaming asphalt talking to Brother Joe after church in a three-piece suit and never break a sweat.
But come winter, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
I have learned to stay away from grocery stores, liquor stores, and beer cellars whenever snow is within 1000 miles of my great city. Young and old alike look at the World weather report, say a collective "OH SHIT, it’s snowing in Russia" and head to the closest grocer to deplete the shelves of bread, milk, peanut butter, beer, cigarettes, and duct tape.
And such is today. Winter weather is showing up. Businesses and schools closed shop for tomorrow WAY before the first cold rain fell today…WAY before the weather line reached into our state.
It becomes increasingly annoying to watch TV because the Station Weather People cut in with BREAKING WEATHER REPORTS every 5 minutes to let us all know the storm hasn’t moved since the last time they broke in. But they are providing a public service by using their Panic Inciting Superpowers to hypnotize the masses.
So here I sit smiling as I think of my fellow peeps. Traditional jazz plays on the stereo. Rain’s falling steadily onto my back porch, candles are lit, and suddenly I remember, I forgot to buy a bottle of Red just in case the doomsayers are correct.
Oh well, I’ll toast the Great Weather Maker with a glass of sparkling water before going to bed.
Be well one and all.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
zss
© 2004 Wrosesongs
All Rights Reserved
Southern summers bring big flies, 500% humidity, mosquitoes as large as 747s, and lots of outdoor activities. We have learned how to not sweat when the heat is turned up – that’s how we can tell who is visiting and who really has the earth’s dirt under her nails.
We can smile and fan and sing and dance all day long in the summer sun. Men have the super ability to stand for extraordinarily long periods of time on the steaming asphalt talking to Brother Joe after church in a three-piece suit and never break a sweat.
But come winter, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
I have learned to stay away from grocery stores, liquor stores, and beer cellars whenever snow is within 1000 miles of my great city. Young and old alike look at the World weather report, say a collective "OH SHIT, it’s snowing in Russia" and head to the closest grocer to deplete the shelves of bread, milk, peanut butter, beer, cigarettes, and duct tape.
And such is today. Winter weather is showing up. Businesses and schools closed shop for tomorrow WAY before the first cold rain fell today…WAY before the weather line reached into our state.
It becomes increasingly annoying to watch TV because the Station Weather People cut in with BREAKING WEATHER REPORTS every 5 minutes to let us all know the storm hasn’t moved since the last time they broke in. But they are providing a public service by using their Panic Inciting Superpowers to hypnotize the masses.
So here I sit smiling as I think of my fellow peeps. Traditional jazz plays on the stereo. Rain’s falling steadily onto my back porch, candles are lit, and suddenly I remember, I forgot to buy a bottle of Red just in case the doomsayers are correct.
Oh well, I’ll toast the Great Weather Maker with a glass of sparkling water before going to bed.
Be well one and all.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
zss
© 2004 Wrosesongs
All Rights Reserved
posted by I am Z @ 10:55 PM
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