i am zayne

lover of: music and words,thunderstorms and full moons,mountains and sweet breezes,poetry and prose,nursery rhymes and firelights.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Learning to Fly

1/14/2005

I wish I could fly with my arms stretched out wide taking in unknown winds while soaring above the known and the memories that tie me to earth.

The band, Cowboy Junkies sing "memories are just dead men making trouble…" included in the refrain and oh how that line haunts me. What are the chances that poets and songwriters are the true prophets of our day?

I find little reaches into me like a well thought out verse – sometimes, but rarely a whole song. The Choir performs two songs that immediately come to mind. I have often told people that the most perfect song, in my most humble opinion, is "Merciful Eyes" from the band’s Circle Slide CD. The chorus asks the Maker, "When I turn from your face render mercy and grace. Red blood rain from the sky God have merciful eyes…" It remains to be one of THOSE songs I always wish I could have penned.

The final selection from the same CD is titled, "Restore My Soul". It also kicks my butt over and over again. It’s one of THOSE songs that demands me to repeat its words and passion to make sure I indeed understand. Sometimes, I do admit to understanding, sometimes I can admit I need restoration.

Another tune that gets to the inner me upon its first quiet tones is "Latter Days" by Over the Rhine. After the piano fades in, the most angelic voice cries out, "What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be." I die a little each time I hear it -- I also live a little more knowing heartache is not death – that being honest about heartache can be beautiful.

Mike Roe, on this solo outing, "Safe as Milk" includes another one of THOSE songs titled "Hold Dearly to Me". It is an urgent plea to the Lord of Lords. I still have to fight back tears each time I hear it even all these years later.

Hopefully one day I will learn to not be afraid of the memories that make so much trouble. I will seek the merciful eyes of my God to restore my soul. And as I walk through this life that turns out to be so much heartache – beautiful and not, trust that the Savior does indeed hold dearly to me. Maybe one day I will learn to fly.


zss

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i hate it when i'm in a bad mood. at these times i don't even want to be in the same room with me.

zss